I'm linking up with Jen:
This past weekend was supposed to be when we got all the Christmas decorations up. I had a list all made out of what needed to be done. We barely made a dent in that list. I guess I was just a bit too ambitious. Why does that always happen? Now, I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything that must be done this week, that I don't feel I can add anything extra. I don't want to wait until this weekend to get the tree up, but when am I going to do that? I'm still trying to get the Christmas cards ordered and the calendars for the grandparents made and the last bit of Christmas shopping done. I still have all my everyday things to do as well, which is hard enough. I start to get angry, and I don't like it.
I want to enjoy Christmas!
I had all these intentions of actually getting the Advent wreath out on the first Sunday in Advent, though we weren't even home then. I also wanted the Advent calendar out on Dec. 1 so the kids could enjoy doing that for the full time. That didn't happen either because it is in a box in the attic. The Nativity is also still boxed up. I have a few more decorations to buy for the inside of our house, but I'm never going to have time to do that, especially since I'm not even sure where to go to get them. My house was all clean at Thanksgiving, and now my desk sits cluttered and my kitchen isn't perfect either.
Why do I care?
Well, I am the type of person who cannot relax until there is nothing left to be done. Obviously, that is never going to happen. I really just need to learn to slow down and take a little time for myself. I need to get my quiet time with God in each day, which doesn't always happen. I need to ask Him to show me what needs to be done. I get so wrapped up in MY to-do list, that I forget to ask HIM what HIS to-do list has on it for me.
I know this happens to all of us, so why do I feel like a failure when it happens to me? Why do I feel like I must be Super Mom? That's just our earthly world. We compare ourselves to others. It's me as a perfectionist as well. I want it all to be just right, and I want to do it all. I felt so much better when a mom at the school yesterday said she hadn't gotten her tree up yet either. Why? I just felt validated. I felt like I had a reason to not be perfect. I need to remember that I'm perfect in God's eyes, even though I can't do everything. I need to drop the perfectionism and just be. I need to enjoy my life as it is, with or without my Christmas tree up and my Christmas cards mailed. That is much easier said than done.
