I'm linking up with Jen:
This past weekend was supposed to be when we got all the Christmas decorations up. I had a list all made out of what needed to be done. We barely made a dent in that list. I guess I was just a bit too ambitious. Why does that always happen? Now, I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything that must be done this week, that I don't feel I can add anything extra. I don't want to wait until this weekend to get the tree up, but when am I going to do that? I'm still trying to get the Christmas cards ordered and the calendars for the grandparents made and the last bit of Christmas shopping done. I still have all my everyday things to do as well, which is hard enough. I start to get angry, and I don't like it.
I want to enjoy Christmas!
I had all these intentions of actually getting the Advent wreath out on the first Sunday in Advent, though we weren't even home then. I also wanted the Advent calendar out on Dec. 1 so the kids could enjoy doing that for the full time. That didn't happen either because it is in a box in the attic. The Nativity is also still boxed up. I have a few more decorations to buy for the inside of our house, but I'm never going to have time to do that, especially since I'm not even sure where to go to get them. My house was all clean at Thanksgiving, and now my desk sits cluttered and my kitchen isn't perfect either.
Why do I care?
Well, I am the type of person who cannot relax until there is nothing left to be done. Obviously, that is never going to happen. I really just need to learn to slow down and take a little time for myself. I need to get my quiet time with God in each day, which doesn't always happen. I need to ask Him to show me what needs to be done. I get so wrapped up in MY to-do list, that I forget to ask HIM what HIS to-do list has on it for me.
I know this happens to all of us, so why do I feel like a failure when it happens to me? Why do I feel like I must be Super Mom? That's just our earthly world. We compare ourselves to others. It's me as a perfectionist as well. I want it all to be just right, and I want to do it all. I felt so much better when a mom at the school yesterday said she hadn't gotten her tree up yet either. Why? I just felt validated. I felt like I had a reason to not be perfect. I need to remember that I'm perfect in God's eyes, even though I can't do everything. I need to drop the perfectionism and just be. I need to enjoy my life as it is, with or without my Christmas tree up and my Christmas cards mailed. That is much easier said than done.
I think you do know what to do. And you know the real meaning of Christmas. So, therefore, you can enjoy it without a tree or decorations or even without an Advent wreath.
ReplyDeleteGod doesn't seek this perfectionism. He seeks YOU. Praying that you can sit with Him awhile today and recognize how beautiful you really are.
Kelli, this made me laugh out loud! NOT because I'm making fun or teasing but because I can sooooooo relate. We're all just Ragamuffins, really (from Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel). I encourage you-let it all be a mess. I just bet Jesus will show up in the middle of it all and show you exactly when to do what where when how. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen. I actually listened to Christmas music during my run instead of my normal running music today. That really helped. I just want to feel in the Christmas mood. Christmas music is relaxing for me, so even though I was running up and down hills, I was relaxed in my heart.
ReplyDeleteKelli,
ReplyDeleteRight now, it looks as if an entire aisle at Target has exploded in my living room, and I get it, it is hard to relax when everything is crazy. Yes, you are perfect in God's eyes, so the good news is your house and life don't have to be!
if it makes you feel any better, it took me four days to decorate my one tree. during the four days i had eight boxes open on the living room floor. and i didn't vacuum untiol the sixth day. tomorrow is the seventh. think i'll rest!
ReplyDeleteKendal- Well, I didn't vacuum my upstairs for a month while my vacuum cleaner was broken, so a week doesn't make me feel better. I'm sure it's been more than a week since I vacuumed my upstairs once again! LOL! My downstairs floors haven't been mopped in well over a week, but I'm getting to that as well. It takes us several days to decorate our tree as well. That is completely normal for us!
ReplyDeleteAmy- LOL!! A Target aisle, huh? That's funny.
Really, my house isn't that bad, but I want it clean before I start pulling all the boxes out. The boxes that the outside lights were in are out right now, but we're about done with those. Then, I'll get the inside boxes out.
It will be o.k. I just start getting overwhelmed.
ok here is another one... we thought we'd put two trees up and did...I got through with the smaller tree and packed the other one right back up in the box...after it sat there for over a week all green and bare:) Just to much work...lol! New here and nice to meet you..and I can totally relate!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Tiffini, that is funny! Yeah, one tree is enough. My kids each have small trees in their rooms, but they stay decorated and go in the attic that way (completely assembled and decorated)!
ReplyDeleteI added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You :-)
~Ron